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matchbook recordings

by Mary Beth

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1.
Gone Ghost 02:51
no matter the place or time there's no hope 'tween your heart and mine our stars are crossed in every universe and there ain't no way to break this curse memories haunt in this ghost town everywhere i see your crown sometimes i feel like i might drown in the cursed spirits that surround got no place to call a home when you're running all alone flying high and fast, leaving just a trace in a constant cursed fall from grace
2.
I lock my door against the wind terrified it will burst in and rip up all my roots again just like the time before for if I meet such wild gales I know I'll yearn to ride the rails or fly away and hoist my sails and set back out to sea see? I'll follow blindly leaving landscapes framed behind me 'so long' I'll say benignly, I'm headed out the door out to new horizons different loves and different lies and it comes and no surprise I've come back for more come back for more more of what I'm lacking I'm continuously packing prepped my own hi-jacking like the cancer never came but now my heart is weakened by a burden it can't speak and my eyes are like two beacons, they give it all away see? I'll follow blindly leaving landscapes framed behind me 'so long' I'll say benignly, I'm headed out the door out to new horizons different loves and different lives and it comes and no surprise I've come back for more come back for more when that wind begins to howl I'm trembling like a tree bough should I stay or should I go now? do I even have a choice? when that wind begins to howl I'm trembling like a tree bough should I stay or should I go now? do I even have a choice? do I even have a choice? lock my door against the wind terrified it will burst in and rip up all my roots again just like the time before
3.
I just keep thinking of her beautiful scars and the way she would wiggle all night at the bars and the way she would float past the girls and guitars seeming to be above them she pulled me outside in this big demonstration and stared at the sky with the strangest fixation and told me sad stories of each constellation seeming to be among them some nights she'd show up wearing nothing but smiles and her tattoos and stickers of bands she admired and we'd scream in the dark and we'd set things on fire savoring every moment she seemed to sing every time she exhaled with my hands on her neck and her voice sounding frail but pluck her just right and boy, would she wail sounding a little indulgent and each night she leaves me again and I'm no good at goodbyes and she says she'll see me again, but I know that look in her eyes when she's telling lies but I just keep thinking of her terrible scars that come from a rage somewhere deep in the heart and singing of jet planes while riding in cars, dreaming always of escaping. "and I'm leaving on a jet plane, I don't know if I'll be back again. oh, babe I hate to go..." and each night she leaves me again and I'm no good at goodbyes and she says she'll see me again, but I know that look in her eyes when she's telling lies
4.
montauk 02:54
I'm so tired, take it all away take me in your hands, teach me to pray "there must be a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground." honeycomb my beehive brain make me crazy or make me sane make me anything, just take away that wild buzzing sound it comes in waves and it leaves for days and I'm left just waiting ready to obey rolling in the smoke sublime do just one thing at a time leave no question in my mind help me lose all I have found it comes in waves and it leaves for days and I'm left just waiting ready to obey
5.
"I want to watch you dance with her" I want to see you move with her I want to hear her whisper that she's in love with you don't hang around with me, boy I'm restless, can't you see? but my curiosity has got me watching you I never claimed to have self-control "it's a fine thing," I've been told oh, if only you had none you'd agree that being bad is much more fun I want to watch you want me at first you're scared, but slowly you come around and tell me what you want to do "alive and empty" "so close to god, it's crazy" besides control, well baby what have we got to lose? like clockwork you come knocking on my screen door telling me you can't do this anymore but you're the spider, I'm the fly and it is certain death if I don't try I want to watch you dance with her I want to see you hold her and then have you come over her 'cause I know what to do
6.
I've waited 'cause I'm fated to burden quite a lot on a few the time I've wasted getting wasted trying to think of anybody but you feeling like I'm not quite good enough like I gotta always try to win your love but baby, oh how it feels when I am winning but you know I'm good at acting tough I'll pretend it doesn't matter much and put it into the songs that I am singing you watch me you want me 'cause somehow I got under your skin but you stop me and you taunt me terrified of letting me in feeling like I'm not quite good enough like I gotta always try to win your love but you know I'm good at acting tough I'll pretend it doesn't matter much feeling like I'm not quite good enough like I gotta always try to win your love baby, just let me stay a little longer addicted to the hopelessness of love like we gotta always try to find The One but maybe it's just some souls are meant to hunger
7.
... 04:23

about

it's never a bad idea to have a book of matches.

credits

released May 7, 2015

Zach Landreneau recorded, mixed, and mastered this album.
Mary Beth Widhalm performed guitar, cello, and vocals.

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about

Mary Beth Austin, Texas

Her intricate guitar-playing and sweeping melodies create "a landscape to live in" and her songwriting "listens like a book you are reading." (Caro Somes, 2017).

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